9 May 2010

My Mother

I have a strange relationship with my mother. Up until this evening, I hadn't spoken to her in three months. I love my mother dearly but we've always had problems seeing eye to eye.  A large part of this is due to the fact that I didn't really start building a relationship with her until I was seven or so, when I first came to London. I remember spending time with my father when I was still in Koforidua vividly but I remember nothing about my mother, save for a tall, slim woman who would whisk off to the bank every morning. She seemed unapproachable, and in some ways she still does.

These three months in which we hadn't spoken was the longest yet. I usually speak to her as least once a week but we had a silly argument and I just couldn't be bothered anymore. If today wasn't Mothers' Day, I wonder how long I would have held off calling her. She didn't call me either.... When I spoke to her today, she told me she loved me. I was so surprised, then I felt like crying. She's not a very open person and I've always taken all my joys/ problems to my Dad, knowing that he'll tell her anything she needs to know.

I've always felt like a bit of a disappointment to her. I'm not skinny  and I know she blames me for my younger sister's weight problems too. Something about setting a "bad example" for her to follow. I don't have an MBA (which she inexplicably keeps pushing this English and Linguistics graduate to do) nor do I have a rich, successful husband (yet!). She gets along far better with her sons than she does with her daughters and she has a whole host of "substitute daughters" to make her happy. These "substitute daughters" feel no way in talking to her about anything under the sun- something I could only dream of doing.

Despite all of these things, I have an incredible amount of respect for my mother. She is both hard-working and graceful in the challenging role of a pastor's wife. My father wouldn't be a fraction of the man he is without her by his side for all of these years. She has shown me what a good wife should be. She's not shy and submissive yet she she doesn't emasculate her husband in any way, shape, or form. She may not be the affectionate type (neither am I), but she shows her love for her children in myriad ways. I thank God for her life and wish her a truly wonderful Mother's Day.
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