Picture post

Everybody who knows me knows of my penchant for taking random pictures of people and things. Living in London enabled me to hone my stealth photography skills in order to avoid getting my ass kicked. However, this is not "Caught Slippin'" (does anybody remember that facebook group? Jokes for daaaaaays!) so here are just a few of the random pics I've taken in the past few
months here:
The Cape Coast Mysterious Dwarfs F.C.


I snapped this whilst stuck in some stupid traffic on the Accra-Tema motorway. Who knew Cape Coast had a football team called the "Mysterious Dwarfs" [sic]? Shouldn't they be dwarves? What's so mysterious about them? This is still the best football club name I've heard yet though.

Taxi hazards


So I hailed a taxi from my house to Dzorwulu one sunny afternoon and tired of the wind effing up my hair because of the open window, I asked the taxi driver to please raise up the window for me. He directed me to "touch the green wires together". He then happily told me to touch the EXPOSED orange wires together to lower the window again! I was actually dumbfounded. Only in Ghana indeed....

"Oh Edem!"


I have no idea who Edem is, or what he did, but it was clearly serious enough to warrant the offended party complaining about his crimes all over Accra. I thought this was hilarious. Not unlike our next picture...

Hilarious Services (Osu)


Spotted this gem on Oxford St. in Osu. Mate, you offer clerical and photography services. What the hell is 'hilarious" about that?

"My Lord is my Shepped"


Yep. "Shepped". What made this worse was that I took this picture at the Accra Polo Club as it was reversing into the white picket fence of the supporters enclosure. Clearly the Lord was slipping on his shepherding skills that evening....

"My Brain"


A couple of months ago, I was trying to stress to my grade 8 students the importance of acknowledging their sources before they turned in their projects. It's never too early to learn about plagiarism right? This was the bibliography page of one of my students. Is this a reflection on me or her? Either way, let's bow our heads in prayer for the children of the future....

That damn Ms. Harris....

I finally got round to watching Ciara's new video for "Ride". I'm actually speechless. I wanted to hate it but damn if this woman ain't WERKING it! I'm off to take notes....

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons

I've noticed myself doing a funny thing since I moved to Ghana- I try to avoid telling people where I live. Weird huh? Maybe you think me so weird after hearing me out:

So I live in some extremely plush accommodation in an extremely posh area of Accra. "Nothing wrong with that" you say. Indeed there isn't. I love where I live and I actually think I'd have already run back to London if I didn't live where I live. I haven't really experienced the chronic water shortage that seems to have befallen Accra and her neighbouring cities lately. Lights off problems also go largely unnoticed and there's really no logistical way armed-robbers could make it into here. Buuuuuuuut

1. This is not my yard; it belongs to a family friend. Like I have $500,000 plus to drop on an appartment in Accra.

2. When some people find out where I live, I get accused of being a "dadaba" (spoilt Daddy's girl) and they mysteriously stop offering to pay for/ split things.... I kept where I lived from my co-workers for as long as possible but I noticed that as soon as word got out, things like taking it in turns to buy everybody snacks mysteriously fell more frequently on me. My mama didn't raise no fool. If you ain't buying, then we ALL ain't eating.

3. Some people ask "what is it like living there" and that's ALL they want to talk about. Seriously.

4. Taxi drivers use this as yet another excuse to bump me. I've now resorted to NEVER telling them outright where I'm going. I'll vaguely mutter something about going "somewhere around The African Regent Hotel", throw the agreed fee at them and wait until we arrive at said hotel before directing them to the opposite direction. Hey it's been working so far!

One of the things that most irritates me about Accra is the sheer number of posers in this city. I see people who pretend to be "bigger" than they are constantly and it's a fear of being perceived to be one of them that makes me reluctant to share where I live with people.

Bitch I'm broke! I have two sets of student loans to pay off and my credit rating must be down the toilet by now since I haven't been in the UK to pay O2's phone bills nor Egg's credit card bills. Why on earth should I pretend otherwise? I'd love to have a Sugar Daddy/ Santa Claus to act as my Fairy Godmother but until then, Last Born Child is my inspiration. People like myself is the reason I never make assumptions about anybody's financial status. I may be broke right now but I sure as hell don't advertise it. In the same vein, don't jealous the chick with the freshest Malaysian weave, the flyest Bvlgari shades, the latest Bottega Veneta handbag and pushing the latest whip. You don't know where or how she got that ish. I try to be myself as much as I can so that's why I either won't tell you where I live, or I'll quickly append a "but it's not my house" when you comment on how nice it is. Funny thing is, I've noticed that money attracts money. Seriously. When people perceive you to be in a certain "class" you find yourself meeting more and more of them. Kind of makes sense now why the posers bother so much....

So do you make assumptions about how much money you think people have and how/ why?

Random thoughts:

1. Why did I just see Wanlov the Kubolor wandering through the streets of Dzorwulu in torrential rain?

2. Why is the size 18/20 Sankofa flirting with a fine-ass personal trainer. The irony doesn't escape me either. Maybe he'll help me get my bikini bod fine-tuned....


3. I've had a craving for apapransa for the last two weeks. I'm too lazy and inept to attempt to make some. Where can I buy some?

I'll leave you with this vintage eargasm courtesy of Maxwell. He's always a good choice before bedtime.

London on my mind...

My job is seriously effing up my blogging life, my social life, in fact my life full stop. I ran away to London for our ONE WEEK Easter break. Yes- one week. Man I didn't realise just how much I'd missed that city so here is a list of some things I missed (and didn't miss) about my beloved London town (despite it giving me a horrible cold):

1. People walking quickly


Let me not go on too much about how refreshing it was to have people walk like they actually had somewhere to go. People in Accra are always telling me to slow down because "it's too hot to be rushing". I look at them like "fool why exactly do you think I'm walking so fast? All the faster to get out of this bloody sun!"

2.  Public transport


Yes there were still flippin engineering works on the Jubilee Line but I was getting over-excited hopping from trains, to the DLR, to tube, to bus. Any Londoners out there- I'm telling you don't know how good you have it until you have to deal with smelly tro-tro mates or psychotic taxi drivers. These are basically your only options when you don't have a car in Accra.

3. A general lack of flying insects


Flies are the bane of my existence in Ghana. I detest them with the intensity of a thousand suns. Their buzzing drives me mental and I'm constantly swatting the air whenever I'm eating. I once got up and left Bush Canteen in East Legon in a huff because I was being attacked by flies. Having a fly-free week was blissful.

4. Fashion and shopping


I'd always get into arguments with my American friends when we talked about fashion. I don't care but Londoners always win hands down. I've always said that everybody else does "sexy" whilst Londoners do "trendy". Londoners can take the most truly hideous pieces of clothing I've ever seen and somehow throw them together and make me wish I'd thought of it first. It's a true skill.

Shopping-wise, even though I was as broke as a church mouse, Primark sorted me out with some flip-flops boy! This reminds me of the woman in a "boutique" in Dzorwulu who tried to charge me GHC 60 (just over 30 quid) for some 4 pound Primark skirt from 3 years ago!

5. The Musician (and my friends)


Look at me putting my friends in brackets! But they understand.... It was great seeing the ones I actually managed to get a hold of. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. I've got some truly great friends. I'm so lucky to have friends that generally share my strange (and sometimes mean) sense of humour. You can never underestimate the benefits of people who can laugh at the same things you do. So here's to Friday's Afro, Afrocentric, Nsoromma, East London Boy, Lawyer Girl, Twister, N8, Wina, and my million and one surrogate parents. I couldn't see all of you but it was good to at least chat a little.

The Musician: I'm partly blushing and partly feeling embarrassed. I still think it's completely mental that this man is still in my life, but like a moth to a flame there I was. I've seriously never been with any man who makes me feel as happy as he can but I still have a vague feeling that he's an addiction I need to kick. I was a very naughty girl  and now I feel like an a victim of abuse who keeps going back to her abuser. Eek! O_O But I had the best time with him so is being happy a crime?

There were loads of things I hadn't missed about LDN but let's be positive today ;-)


Currently listening to: I hate seagulls- Kate Nash