When they crawl out of the woodwork

Why is it that every time you decide to just focus on the rest of your life and  give love a rest that old faces come crawling out of the woodwork?

I went out on a few dates while I was living in Ghana and I was actually in a relationship with somebody for a few months but I didn't blog about it for some reason. I can be very protective of my relationships and I think I still live in perpetual fear that somebody I'd rather stay away will stumble on this blog sooner or later. Oh well, let's embrace the fear. Let's call this one Koforidua Boy. I first went to Koforidua with my parents when I first arrived in Ghana in October and only really saw my grandparents whom I hadn't seen in over 15 years. I didn't see many of my cousins as they were in various places and I was only there for the one night. Fast forward a couple of months to Christmas eve '09 and my Dad calls me from Atlanta:

Dad: Are you going to Koforidua for Christmas?
Me: Erm I wasn't planning on it....
Dad: Well do you know your cousin is getting married and I think it would be really good if you went. It starts at 7 a.m. the day after Christmas. (His way of telling me I have no choice in the matter)
Me: I guess I can cancel all my other plans and make the likely to be 2hr trek at 5a.m. on Boxing Day to go to the wedding of a cousin I barely remember. I'm sure she'll be thrilled to see a cousin she hasn't seen since she was about 7 on her special day when all the attention should be on her. (KMT)

Obvious sarcasm aside, I made the trek to Koforidua after only having  about 6 hours combined sleep in the two days prior and I was happily treated like a museum display object when I arrived. As hard as it it to believe, I can be painfully shy especially around people I don't really know. I know that I was amongst my family but I didn't really feel like I knew them at the time. After hearing various re-tellings of the "funny" things I used to do as a child and how much I'd 'changed' (i.e. how did you get so fat?) the midday sun started to make me faint and I was ordered inside to rest. It seems I'd allowed the air-conditioning I was used to in Accra to make me soft- how embarrassing.

After my "rest", which had turned into a two-hour nap, I came downstairs to catch the engagement in full flow. My cousin's only a couple of years younger than me and her husband's my age so there were loads of people my age who had traveled from far and wide to make it to my cousin's big day. I soon as I stepped outside I saw him. He was 6"3, athletic build, beautiful eyes etc. etc. The works. I couldn't take my eyes off him and this horrified me! I'm usually the queen of playing it cool but I know he caught me staring at him at least twice. The next day, wedding festivities finally over, we were invited for luck at my cousin's new in-laws house and this somehow led to a game of musical chairs. To cut a long story short, Koforidua Boy and I ended up being the last people standing and in our mad rush for the last chair, I ended up falling right on top of him. Humiliation aside, it was all in good fun and served the purpose of breaking the ice between us. The "grown-ups" amongst us decided to continue our party at a local bar and after several Alvaros, Stars, akonfem and kebabs, Koforidua Boy asked me when I was going back to Accra. I told him I was leaving the next day and we exchanged numbers. I was playing Miss. Cool but I felt like jumping up and down in excitement. I went back to Accra for a few days and came back to Koforidua for New Year's Eve. Koforida Boy and I had been talking to each other every day and he'd made no secret of the fact that he wanted to date me properly. He'd already asked me twice but I'd said "no" partly out of a fear of dating after The Musician and partly out of pure 'shakara'. Anyway by New Year's Eve I thought "new year, new beginnings' so I finally said yes.

As usual everything was wonderful at first until they spectacularly fell apart a couple of months later. The reasons are far too convoluted to go into detail here but they boiled down to these:

Her: He still had some growing up to do and was far too sensitive. He'd go on like I had drowned his puppy if I ever told him something he didn't want to hear. I was a straightforward person when he met me so why would I change now? I felt he was used to girls falling all over him and girls willing to do whatever he wanted just because he was good looking (those Central University girls know who they are...). I also felt that he didn't make enough time for me. He lived /went to uni in Tema while I lived right at the end of the Tema/ Accra motorway so I didn't accept distance as an excuse.

Him: He said I was too harsh at times and that I "nagged".



Anyway, I broke up with him, which went down like a lead balloon. His first utterance was "nobody's ever broken up with me before" to which I answered "there's a first time for everything" and we decided to go our separate ways. After this everybody and their mother decided to get involved and we went from a semi-amicable split to outright acrimony. We continued in this vein and I started dating somebody else. We had no contact until the day before I left Ghana. He randomly called me to "check on me" and I informed him I was leaving Ghana the following day. He claimed he was hurt that I hadn't called to tell him I was leaving earlier and he'd wanted to give our relationship another chance etc. etc.

Needless to say, I moved back to London and we had intermittent contact until a few days ago. Koforidua Boy has now decided we're destined to be together and we should be dating. I know my description of him doesn't sound like it but I genuinely like this guy. Apart from the things that bug me about him, he's a lovely person who's extremely intelligent, focused, ambitious and very good-looking to boot. He basically ticks all my boxes. However, how are you going to tell me you're ready to be in a relationship with me again when we're 3,000 odd miles away from each other? I can't do long-distance relationships although I have nothing but admiration for those who can.

I went to Atlanta two months ago and I saw my ex-boyfriend whom I dated for years (and who broke my heart) and he was hinting at the two of us rekindling our relationship. I also seem to have semi-rekindled my Musician habit so this whole Koforidua Boy debacle is in addition to all of this. I guess men really are like buses- you wait ages for one and then three come along at once.

Is there some kind of secret law that means men come crawling our of the woodwork just when you decide to focus on yourself? Forget all of these exes, why can't I just meet someone new?!


Currently listening to: All of the lights- Kanye West (The whole of My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy is excellent)

I'm still here

I apologise profusely for abandoning my blog in such a shameful manner. When I first moved back to London from Ghana, I wasn't really in the mood to write as I was too busy moping around and missing Ghana. Once I finally got my blogging mojo back, I was just starting a new Masters degree in International Relations and I just didn't seem to have the time. Well I still don't seem to have the time but I'm tired of thinking to myself "I must blog about this" and so here I am. I have a lot to say (as usual) and it will all come out in due time.

Thank you to all the followers who haven't abandoned me and I'm looking forward to interacting with the blogosphere once more. I'll leave you with this great rendition of the one and only Nina Simone's "Four Women" by Kelly Price, Marsha Ambrosius (formerly of Floetry), Jilly from Philly (Jill Scott) and my girl Ledisi (get her album STAT!).

Cape Coasting By

I finally managed to find some time this past weekend to go to Cape Coast. I haven't been to too many places since I came to Ghana as work usually left me far too shattered to do anything else. My frequents trips to Koforidua aside, I think my fleeting trip to Kumasi is the only one I've undertaken. Another deterrent to these trips was not having anybody to go with. After last weekend, I really regret using this as an excuse. Next time I want to go somewhere, I'm just gonna do it. Screw waiting for other people to help me fulfill me heart's desires!

Anyway, back to Cape Coast. I was talking to a colleague who's doing a summer programme at the University of Cape Coast (UCC) and I mentioned to him that it was a shame I'd never made it there. He suggested that I should come to visit and after "hmmming" and "erming" for a while (he fancies me) I jumped on an STC for an overnight visit. I was pleasantly surprised by the STC buses. They were air-conditioned, not too confining, and you could entertain yourself with a shit Nigerian film should you so desire. I didn't.

The trip took about two and a half hours as the bus was quite slow and I saw many of the famed Cape Coast boardings schools along the the way. The UCC campus is nothing like the Legon campus which is all white buildings and red clay. UCC seemed more green and "foresty" for a lack of a better word. Didn't do much that day as I arrived around 5:30 and all I wanted to do was watch the England match (colossal waste of time there!). So Saturday morning my colleague gave me a quick tour of the campus and we headed to Cape Coast castle for what I knew would be a depressing tour. Our tour guide, Oscar, was great with the seven people in our group and he was extremely patient and knowledgeable in answering any questions we threw at him. My colleague and I were the only Ghanaians in a group of Black Americans and strangely their reaction to the things we saw made me sadder to the things themselves. Does that make sense? I mean it was horrible seeing the conditions the slaves were held in but one of the American women completely lost her shit when we were shown a cell for dissenting slaves who were condemned to die. There were still marks on the floor and walls where the slaves had tried to scratch their way our with their shackles but the teeth marks where desperation had made them tried to gnaw their way out did it for me (and her). She sat on the floor and caressed the marks whilst sobbing uncontrollably. Man that was enough for me and I was glad when the tour ended soon after. Stupid me forgot to bring a camera so the camera on my phone had to do. I snapped some pics as best as I could.

The Door of No Return where slaves passed before they went on the ships.














The floor of the cell scratched my condemned slaves. The tiny window-less room

often had about eighty men stuffed into it, who were left to die. The slave masters didn't bother removing the dead bodies until the last slave had died.














I acted like a typical tourist and bought some cool paintings before I had lunch at the Castle Restaurant which is right next to the castle. Their seafood was amazing and coupled with an ice-cold Star beer and the amazing view, it was hard to think of anyplace I'd have rather been. The beach at Cape Coast was gorgeous and nothing like the filthy messes masquerading as beaches in Accra. Cape Coast is very much a fishing town and people were friendly in general. However, people trying to force you to part with your money is as common there as it is in Accra. Why are people always flipping begging for money, especially from the people they can single out as non-locals? I had to tell one man about himself after he spent 20 minutes pestering me to buy a Ghana hat I neither needed nor wanted. KMBT.

Anyway, I'm rambling now in what was intended to be a short post. I'll just add that I've never felt more peace in my life as I did sitting on that beach, staring at the sea. There's something about the sea that always calms me for some reason. It makes me realise just how amazing God is and also makes me kind of small (but in a good way). My planned to trip to Elmina Castle and Kakum National Park, just a few kilometres away from Cape Coast didn't happen as I wanted to catch the Ghana match and I had had enough depressing tours for the day. I know I'll definitely be back though so I'll do all the other touristy things then.

Here are the paintings I picked up after haggling for about half an hour.They were ridiculously cheap though and I love them so no complaints here!

Girlfriend's Boyfriend

The song "Girfriend's Boyfriend" by Gwen McRae just popped up on my iPod and it brought back memories bwoy! This was my anthem for Michaelmas and Lent terms 96-97 at my boarding school in Sussex.

Have you ever had the misfortune of having a serious crush on a friend's man? If not then count your lucky stars! The lucky fella was J.E.- a pimply-faced, hair-in-curtains having, feet- dragging, thirteen-year old who was in a relationship with my good Serbian friend M.J. Now, typically for me at the time, I revelled in the whole unrequited love angst at the time. I used to listen to sad songs like "Nobody Knows" by the Tony Rich Project and devoted pages upon tear-soaked pages to this saddo in my diary. To make things worse, M.J. was a complete sweetheart so I couldn't even hate her to make myself feel better. I was also really good "friends" with J.E. and acted as their mediator whenever they had one of their (frequent) fights or break-ups.

Now in the Lent term of '96 I was enjoying some "wallow in your own self-pity" time in my dorm, chilling on the bottom bunk, writing in my diary all on some "I LOVE J.E" nonsense. "Pure Swing IV" (I can't be the only one who remembers these music compilations!) had just come out and the song "Girlfriend's Boyfriend" was on it. I was listening to the CD on my DISCMAN (remember those?!) and I couldn't believe my ears. Who was this person and why were they singing about my 13 yr-old life?! I listened to the song on repeat for damn near an hour and I was so engrossed that I didn't even notice that M.J, who slept in the top bunk above mine, was leaning over and reading everything I had just written on the page. Yes, the very same page I'd just scrawled "I LOVE J.E" all over. When I finally realised, "mortified" is not even the word to describe how I felt. To compound matters, M.J. was so damn nice about it! Patronising as hell, to be sure, but she kindly pretended that my crush didn't exist. She told me to forget about it and just kept it moving. In hindsight that kind of maturity in a mere 13 yr old is damn rare in some full-grown adults these days. Maybe it's because she had come from a war-torn Yugoslavia so everything else was a cakewalk to her....

My crush quickly died a deserved death after that and M.J. and J.E. broke up two weeks later but it left a real impression on me. I've been so damn paranoid of getting too close to any friend's man since. I'm one of those people that if I like you, I really like you so I just like to keep them "hello and goodbye" kind of relationships with my friends' boyfriends as much as I can to avoid any kind of potential drama. So as I leave you with the dulcet tones of Gwen McRae (I originally thought it was a man singing this song. A man who had fallen in love with his "Girlfriend's boyfriend" O_O), have you ever been in hers or my position?

"What would she do if she knew that I'm crazy in love with you?"

Things I'm not proud of

Do you ever get one of those moments when you remember something you once did and just think "I can't believe I did that!"? Well i just had one of those moments.

It was a few years ago and I'd just moved back from the ATL to the LDN. I was happily minding my own business on the bus after an afternoon of retail therapy (shopping was all I did that summer) when I felt somebody staring at me. I turned to see an insanely hot, tall guy smiling at me. I quickly put my screwface on (it's automatic) and stared out of the window. I got off at my stop and coincidentally (or not...) so did the guy. He does the whole "you look familiar, have we met before?" spiel and I roll my eyes and keep it moving. We're just making small talk in the middle of the street and I notice with increasing horror that this man has a mean lisp. This was compounded by the fact that his name was bloody SYLVESTER! He couldn't even escape the "s"s in his own blimming name. I immediately felt ashamed at myself for being so incredibly superficial and the guilt compelled me to accept when he asked to take my number so we could do dinner sometime. 

The next day, I left my phone at home while I took a short walk with my friend Friday's Afro. When he got back to the house I had 17 missed calls from the guy in the space of fifteen minutes! I called him back and the man had the cheek to be all "Why are you ignoring my calls?" on me. Mscheeeeew! To make matters worse, even though I was well aware that his name was Sylvester I kept calling him "Sebastian" for some reason. The more we spoke, the more his suspect English was exposed. I've never seen hotness die so fast in my life. It also didn't help that Friday's Afro insisted on yelling "Thlyyyyy" at me whenever I was on the phone with him.

Anyway, I fulfilled my part of the deal and allowed this man to take me to dinner, which ended up being at some uber-swanky restaurant in Blackfriars. After washing down my succulent, crisp-skinned belly of pork with some excellent white wine I realised I couldn't stand to spend another moment in his company. His lisp defeated me. I rarely listened to anything he had to say as his lisp was sooooo distracting. On the rare instances I did, his English dealt the other blow. I just couldn't take it anymore you hear?! He was all "where do you want to go now?" and I just blurted out "home!" I told him I was sorry but I could tell he liked me more than I liked him and we should do ourselves a favour and just stay "friends" for now. I've never seen a guy look so crushed. This all went down before the bill (for 200 smackers) arrived those few minutes spent waiting were awkward to say the least. He refused to say another word to me and only told me to call him when I got home as I could always change my mind.

Needless to say, I deleted his number on the way home and wept for the level of my superficiality. However, by the time I got home, I was over it already. I still cringe when I think of poor Sly but let's hope he's found somebody far more deserving....

My Mother

I have a strange relationship with my mother. Up until this evening, I hadn't spoken to her in three months. I love my mother dearly but we've always had problems seeing eye to eye.  A large part of this is due to the fact that I didn't really start building a relationship with her until I was seven or so, when I first came to London. I remember spending time with my father when I was still in Koforidua vividly but I remember nothing about my mother, save for a tall, slim woman who would whisk off to the bank every morning. She seemed unapproachable, and in some ways she still does.

These three months in which we hadn't spoken was the longest yet. I usually speak to her as least once a week but we had a silly argument and I just couldn't be bothered anymore. If today wasn't Mothers' Day, I wonder how long I would have held off calling her. She didn't call me either.... When I spoke to her today, she told me she loved me. I was so surprised, then I felt like crying. She's not a very open person and I've always taken all my joys/ problems to my Dad, knowing that he'll tell her anything she needs to know.

I've always felt like a bit of a disappointment to her. I'm not skinny  and I know she blames me for my younger sister's weight problems too. Something about setting a "bad example" for her to follow. I don't have an MBA (which she inexplicably keeps pushing this English and Linguistics graduate to do) nor do I have a rich, successful husband (yet!). She gets along far better with her sons than she does with her daughters and she has a whole host of "substitute daughters" to make her happy. These "substitute daughters" feel no way in talking to her about anything under the sun- something I could only dream of doing.

Despite all of these things, I have an incredible amount of respect for my mother. She is both hard-working and graceful in the challenging role of a pastor's wife. My father wouldn't be a fraction of the man he is without her by his side for all of these years. She has shown me what a good wife should be. She's not shy and submissive yet she she doesn't emasculate her husband in any way, shape, or form. She may not be the affectionate type (neither am I), but she shows her love for her children in myriad ways. I thank God for her life and wish her a truly wonderful Mother's Day.

Picture post

Everybody who knows me knows of my penchant for taking random pictures of people and things. Living in London enabled me to hone my stealth photography skills in order to avoid getting my ass kicked. However, this is not "Caught Slippin'" (does anybody remember that facebook group? Jokes for daaaaaays!) so here are just a few of the random pics I've taken in the past few
months here:
The Cape Coast Mysterious Dwarfs F.C.


I snapped this whilst stuck in some stupid traffic on the Accra-Tema motorway. Who knew Cape Coast had a football team called the "Mysterious Dwarfs" [sic]? Shouldn't they be dwarves? What's so mysterious about them? This is still the best football club name I've heard yet though.

Taxi hazards


So I hailed a taxi from my house to Dzorwulu one sunny afternoon and tired of the wind effing up my hair because of the open window, I asked the taxi driver to please raise up the window for me. He directed me to "touch the green wires together". He then happily told me to touch the EXPOSED orange wires together to lower the window again! I was actually dumbfounded. Only in Ghana indeed....

"Oh Edem!"


I have no idea who Edem is, or what he did, but it was clearly serious enough to warrant the offended party complaining about his crimes all over Accra. I thought this was hilarious. Not unlike our next picture...

Hilarious Services (Osu)


Spotted this gem on Oxford St. in Osu. Mate, you offer clerical and photography services. What the hell is 'hilarious" about that?

"My Lord is my Shepped"


Yep. "Shepped". What made this worse was that I took this picture at the Accra Polo Club as it was reversing into the white picket fence of the supporters enclosure. Clearly the Lord was slipping on his shepherding skills that evening....

"My Brain"


A couple of months ago, I was trying to stress to my grade 8 students the importance of acknowledging their sources before they turned in their projects. It's never too early to learn about plagiarism right? This was the bibliography page of one of my students. Is this a reflection on me or her? Either way, let's bow our heads in prayer for the children of the future....

That damn Ms. Harris....

I finally got round to watching Ciara's new video for "Ride". I'm actually speechless. I wanted to hate it but damn if this woman ain't WERKING it! I'm off to take notes....

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons

I've noticed myself doing a funny thing since I moved to Ghana- I try to avoid telling people where I live. Weird huh? Maybe you think me so weird after hearing me out:

So I live in some extremely plush accommodation in an extremely posh area of Accra. "Nothing wrong with that" you say. Indeed there isn't. I love where I live and I actually think I'd have already run back to London if I didn't live where I live. I haven't really experienced the chronic water shortage that seems to have befallen Accra and her neighbouring cities lately. Lights off problems also go largely unnoticed and there's really no logistical way armed-robbers could make it into here. Buuuuuuuut

1. This is not my yard; it belongs to a family friend. Like I have $500,000 plus to drop on an appartment in Accra.

2. When some people find out where I live, I get accused of being a "dadaba" (spoilt Daddy's girl) and they mysteriously stop offering to pay for/ split things.... I kept where I lived from my co-workers for as long as possible but I noticed that as soon as word got out, things like taking it in turns to buy everybody snacks mysteriously fell more frequently on me. My mama didn't raise no fool. If you ain't buying, then we ALL ain't eating.

3. Some people ask "what is it like living there" and that's ALL they want to talk about. Seriously.

4. Taxi drivers use this as yet another excuse to bump me. I've now resorted to NEVER telling them outright where I'm going. I'll vaguely mutter something about going "somewhere around The African Regent Hotel", throw the agreed fee at them and wait until we arrive at said hotel before directing them to the opposite direction. Hey it's been working so far!

One of the things that most irritates me about Accra is the sheer number of posers in this city. I see people who pretend to be "bigger" than they are constantly and it's a fear of being perceived to be one of them that makes me reluctant to share where I live with people.

Bitch I'm broke! I have two sets of student loans to pay off and my credit rating must be down the toilet by now since I haven't been in the UK to pay O2's phone bills nor Egg's credit card bills. Why on earth should I pretend otherwise? I'd love to have a Sugar Daddy/ Santa Claus to act as my Fairy Godmother but until then, Last Born Child is my inspiration. People like myself is the reason I never make assumptions about anybody's financial status. I may be broke right now but I sure as hell don't advertise it. In the same vein, don't jealous the chick with the freshest Malaysian weave, the flyest Bvlgari shades, the latest Bottega Veneta handbag and pushing the latest whip. You don't know where or how she got that ish. I try to be myself as much as I can so that's why I either won't tell you where I live, or I'll quickly append a "but it's not my house" when you comment on how nice it is. Funny thing is, I've noticed that money attracts money. Seriously. When people perceive you to be in a certain "class" you find yourself meeting more and more of them. Kind of makes sense now why the posers bother so much....

So do you make assumptions about how much money you think people have and how/ why?

Random thoughts:

1. Why did I just see Wanlov the Kubolor wandering through the streets of Dzorwulu in torrential rain?

2. Why is the size 18/20 Sankofa flirting with a fine-ass personal trainer. The irony doesn't escape me either. Maybe he'll help me get my bikini bod fine-tuned....


3. I've had a craving for apapransa for the last two weeks. I'm too lazy and inept to attempt to make some. Where can I buy some?

I'll leave you with this vintage eargasm courtesy of Maxwell. He's always a good choice before bedtime.

London on my mind...

My job is seriously effing up my blogging life, my social life, in fact my life full stop. I ran away to London for our ONE WEEK Easter break. Yes- one week. Man I didn't realise just how much I'd missed that city so here is a list of some things I missed (and didn't miss) about my beloved London town (despite it giving me a horrible cold):

1. People walking quickly


Let me not go on too much about how refreshing it was to have people walk like they actually had somewhere to go. People in Accra are always telling me to slow down because "it's too hot to be rushing". I look at them like "fool why exactly do you think I'm walking so fast? All the faster to get out of this bloody sun!"

2.  Public transport


Yes there were still flippin engineering works on the Jubilee Line but I was getting over-excited hopping from trains, to the DLR, to tube, to bus. Any Londoners out there- I'm telling you don't know how good you have it until you have to deal with smelly tro-tro mates or psychotic taxi drivers. These are basically your only options when you don't have a car in Accra.

3. A general lack of flying insects


Flies are the bane of my existence in Ghana. I detest them with the intensity of a thousand suns. Their buzzing drives me mental and I'm constantly swatting the air whenever I'm eating. I once got up and left Bush Canteen in East Legon in a huff because I was being attacked by flies. Having a fly-free week was blissful.

4. Fashion and shopping


I'd always get into arguments with my American friends when we talked about fashion. I don't care but Londoners always win hands down. I've always said that everybody else does "sexy" whilst Londoners do "trendy". Londoners can take the most truly hideous pieces of clothing I've ever seen and somehow throw them together and make me wish I'd thought of it first. It's a true skill.

Shopping-wise, even though I was as broke as a church mouse, Primark sorted me out with some flip-flops boy! This reminds me of the woman in a "boutique" in Dzorwulu who tried to charge me GHC 60 (just over 30 quid) for some 4 pound Primark skirt from 3 years ago!

5. The Musician (and my friends)


Look at me putting my friends in brackets! But they understand.... It was great seeing the ones I actually managed to get a hold of. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. I've got some truly great friends. I'm so lucky to have friends that generally share my strange (and sometimes mean) sense of humour. You can never underestimate the benefits of people who can laugh at the same things you do. So here's to Friday's Afro, Afrocentric, Nsoromma, East London Boy, Lawyer Girl, Twister, N8, Wina, and my million and one surrogate parents. I couldn't see all of you but it was good to at least chat a little.

The Musician: I'm partly blushing and partly feeling embarrassed. I still think it's completely mental that this man is still in my life, but like a moth to a flame there I was. I've seriously never been with any man who makes me feel as happy as he can but I still have a vague feeling that he's an addiction I need to kick. I was a very naughty girl  and now I feel like an a victim of abuse who keeps going back to her abuser. Eek! O_O But I had the best time with him so is being happy a crime?

There were loads of things I hadn't missed about LDN but let's be positive today ;-)


Currently listening to: I hate seagulls- Kate Nash

(Mis)Education

I feel like ranting this morning so bear with me. So after months of searching and dealing with idiots asking me "are you sure you can live in Ghana?" I finally managed to get a job here in GH at the end of January. I don't think I've ever been so depressed about getting a job before and I couldn't even moan about it to anybody because they wouldn't get it. I know you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth but the job I got was as a flippin' teacher. "What's wrong with being a teacher?" I hear you say. Well, nothing; but if I had to make a list of all the jobs I would like to do, teaching would be languishing somewhere near the very bottom. I have the utmost respect for teachers but since I swing back and forth between loving kids and hating them, I didn't really think that would be the job for me.

Anyway, after endless amounts of bullshitting, I managed to snag a job as a teacher at a swanky International school here in GH. So I basically have no clue what I'm doing and since they apparently don't believe in the concept of orientation I was basically thrown to the dogs. It's hard enough being in a school where some of the pupils are just seven years older than me but I may have um embellished my experience a tad . Some of the teachers have been pretty helpful and understanding but they've got their own crap to deal with so the help has been understandably limited. The pay is apparently "good for Ghana" but well, you could have fooled me. I definitely have fewer outgoings than I did in London but I'm trynna save up for a masters and it's not looking too good.

Surprisingly, this is the first time in my life that I don't generally have a feeling of doom and gloom as I head to work but I can't say I love this job either. It's a weird feeling to have. The kids are interesting. I think that initially they were awed by the sight of a teacher who didn't look "teacher-ish" and they were pretty well-behaved but they're sure showing they're true colours now. I love my grade 7s because, as cheesy as it sounds, you actively feel as though you're teaching them something. The grade 9s are another matter because they're at that "I think I'm so cool because I'm about to turn all of 16" stage. I have a group of about 5 boys I actively feel like punching because they insist on flirting with the females in the class (moi included!) instead of concentrating on the beautiful poetry of Lord Byron. I mean really. Who could ignore Lord Byron? Lol. As for my grade 8s? Well they sure are special. They are known for being the noisiest class in the school and they do their best to live up to their reputation.

What really pisses me off about this place though is the lack of any kind of punishment system here. If a student does something wrong you can make them clear the teacher's table at lunch or make them stand on stage and apologise to the whole school. O_O

Mate, that's not a punishment. That's a slight inconvenience. They don't even have detention for Pete's sake! When I was in boarding school, we had Saturday night detention (usually to coincide with a school dance or some other cool ish you wanted to go to) and that was only a medium punishment. KMBT. No wonder these kids walk around with a swagger in their step. They know you basically can't do jack to them. Where's the famous Ghanaian sense of discipline and respect? A lot of the other teachers seem to think it's because they're all so rich. I've been around rich people for a good chunk of my life and no offense but the way white people with money act and the way black people with money act is on a whole 'nother level. Don't blame the money. Just act right.

These kids give me joke though. I made a reference to Jodeci or a band like that the other day and they all had the blank stare going on strong. Excellent way to make you feel really old. But then some of them go "but Miss have you heard of Chipmunk? Tinie Tempah? D'banj?" I had to let them KNOW! About have I heard of Chipmunk and Tinie Tempah? Where were they when we jamming to "Wifey" and "Fire Alie"?

In all seriousness, this job is interesting and no matter what happens I think I'll be glad for this experience but mehn my journey to my masters degree needs to speed up!

Edited to add: I saw the Vice Principal yesterday and she said the school board are extremely happy with the job I'm doing and the kids seem to like me. Well that's a shock. I guess my bullshitting skills aren't so bad after all.

Currently listening to:Brazen-Skunk Anansie

100 truths about me

I stole this from Love Was the Egg and L Hash Jay. So out of sheer boredom and as a procrastination tool to avoid my mountain of marking, here goes:


1. Last drink→ Pineapple juice w/ a hint of ginger (Blue Skies baaaaaby!)

2. Last phone call→ The Musician (completely unexpected)

3. Last text message→ My friend's mother thanking me for my mothers' day text

4. Last song you listened to→ Melt my heart to stone- Adele

5. Last time you cried→ Last week at work. Reeeeeally embarassing.



SIX HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice → Haha yes.

7. Been cheated on?→ Hell yes. See The Musician.

8. Kissed someone?→ Is this a trick question?

9. Lost someone special?→ Yes. Unfortunately more than once.

10. Been depressed?→ Yes, particularly for the majority of 2004 and 2009. 2010 will not follow these God-forsaken years!

11. Been drunk and threw up? → Yes



LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLOURS:

12. green

13. mustard 

14. purple

15. black



HAVE YOU:

16. Made new friends → Many different times

17. Fallen out of love → Yes

18. Laughed until you cried → Once or twice

19. Met someone who changed you → Yes 

20. Found out who your true friends were → Still finding out....

21. Found out someone was talking about you → Yes and I've also heard them doing it when they thought I was asleep. Oh the joys of boarding school/ university.

22. Kissed anyone on your friend's list → No!

23. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life → Six

25. Do you have any pets → Nope

26. Do you want to change your name→ I did when I was about 10 but I love all my names now.

27. What did you do for your last birthday → Absolutely nothing but Friday's Afro, Afrocentric, and Nsoromma all took me out for dinner at various times during the week.

28. What time did you wake up today → 5:10 a.m

29. What were you doing at midnight last night → Watching old episodes of The Office (US Version)

30. Name something you CANNOT wait for → 2nd April. Yes just that date. I don't have to say why do I? :-p

31. Last time you saw your mother→ November but I saw my Daddy last week.

32. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life →I can't limit it to one.

33. What are you listening to right now → Waving Flag byK'naan

34. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → Yep. Went to school with quite a number of them.

35. What's getting on your nerves right now? → Smelly people who feel no way in assaulting you with their B.O. at 6 in the morning. They should be arrested under a bio-hazard act imho.

36. Most visited webpage → Google Reader and BBC

37. What's your name→ Sankofa. The real one will not be revealed on these nets :-p

38. Nicknames→ Domzy, Nanz

39. Relationship Status → Single (again)

40. Zodiac Sign ---Libra


41. Male or female or transgendered→ Female


42. Primary----- St. James'

43. Middle School → I'm not a Yank

44. High school → Again, I'm not a Yank but my secondary school was Ardingly College

45. Hair color → Brownish blackish

46. Long/medium/short → Medium

47. Height → 5"6/ 5"7 I swear it alternates between these every time I get  measured

48. Do you have a crush on someone? → Not a soul at the mo. It might liven things up a bit though...

49: What do you like about yourself? → My lips I guess

50. Piercings → Many

51. Tattoos → One

52. Righty or lefty → I'm so right-handed it's not funny. I feel for my left hand sometimes.



FIRSTS :

53. First surgery --- Last year's oral surgery

54. First piercing → ears

55. First best friend → Henrietta from Madonna Primary School

56. First sport you joined → Netball

57. First pet → have never had one

58. First vacation→ does moving countries count? If it doesn't then I  guess it would be Dusseldorf, Germany

59. First concert → Brighton's Party in the Park with the likes of 911, Craig David, Jamelia, Westlife (when they were called Westside) etc. Oh the days of Southern fm

60. First crush → Nathan from Isleworth



RIGHT NOW:

61. Eating → Waakye

62. Drinking..... Water

63. Already missing→ London shopping and cooler weather. Yes, really.

64. I'm about to → Start marking

65. Listening to → singers on American Idol

66. Thinking about → How I really need to start my marking and how I've wasted my weekend once again

67. Waiting for → Godot



YOUR FUTURE :

68. Want kids? → Sometimes it's yes, sometimes it's no. I think I want at least one though. I think...

69. Want to get married? → Definitely

70. Careers in mind → Publishing, literary agent



WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?

71. Lips or eyes → Lips

72. Hugs or kisses → Kisses all the way. I'm not too big on hugging

73. Shorter or taller → The taller the better. Ideally 6"3/ 6"4

74. Older or Younger → Older

75. Romantic or spontaneous → Can't I have both? I guess romance lasts longer but I get bored easily...

76. Nice stomach or nice arms → Stomach

77. Sensitive or loud → After Koforidua Boy allow sensitive men, so I guess loud wins by default

78. Hook-up or relationship → The original anti-relationship girl is growing up so definitely relationships here.

79. Trouble maker or hesitant→ Trouble maker



HAVE YOU EVER :

81. Drank hard liquor → yep

82. Lost glasses/contacts → More than I can even count

83. kissed on 1st date – yes

84. Broken someone's heart → So they claim

85. Had your own heart broken → Severely bruised

86. Been arrested → Yep. The days of doing stupid things out of sheer boredom are now over (I hope)

87. Turned someone down → Yes, yes, and yes. Usually every time I had to venture out to Woolwich a.k.a "Little Lagos"

88. Cried when someone died → No

89. Liked a friend that of the same sex? → Not in that way



DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

90. Yourself → Yes

91. Miracles → Yes but not those ones at church when the pastor is screaming prayers at you, bathing you in his spittle whilst simultaneously pushing you to fall down so you can prove you "caught" the Holy Ghost. [[[side eye]]]

92. Love at first sight → Hell no

93. Heaven → Yes

94. Santa Clause → I din't even believe in him when I was 7. Like my parents are going to allow a fat, old, white man to take the credit for their presents. KMT

95. Kiss on the first date? → Yes

96. Angels → Yes



ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Yes

98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → Nope. If you actually get me to commit, I'm a one-man woman. If there's no explicit commitment however, well then....

99. Wish you could change things in your past?→ Yes

100. Are you posting this as 100 Truths? → I guess so


Currently listening to: Death- Nneka

Anybody out there?

I feel like hanging my head in shame. I don't know what happened but I guess I lost my urge to blog for a while there so um Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Happy Ghana Independence to everybody out there! Not that there hasn't been anything to blog about. Far from it. I finally managed to get a job here which I like and hate alternatively (but more on that later). I fell in like and had a brief relationship with a man who was ultimately yet another disappointment (more on that later too). So my first foray into dating after The Musician was ultimately a failure but at least it wasn't too damaging.

My apathy towards blogging seemed to extend to commenting on my favourite blogs but reading them kept me going and I'm now ready to rejoin the blogosphere. The writer of my new favourite blog Rantings of a Man-hater has unfortunately decided to abandon me but the old faves like Ramblings of a Procrastinator, Wo Se Ekyir, Adventures from the Bedrooms of African Women, MighTy African, and of course, Life... and Living It held me down.

My own brand of twi (the most widely-spoken Ghanaian language) that I like to call "twinglish" has improved immeasurably so yay for me! I'll end here and I'll be back with tales of men and (mis)education but not before I leave you an image of the sun as it was seen in Ghana a few days ago. Isn't it luvvverly? Don't know much about the science behind it and I don't much care I just liked the pretty.

Here's Chris Daughtry of American Idol fame smashing Gaga's Poker Face to sing us out!

Currently listening to: Africa- Amadou and Mariam ft. K'naan (chooooooon!)